Hello. Thanks for stopping by to read a little.
So, what's it all about? Well, I guess online diary springs to mind (original huh?). I turned 40 this year and I am worried that my best years may be behind me. Everyone says life begins at 40. I do hope so.
Is it time for a bit of an overview then? I guess it must be. Here goes....
I had a great time in my twenties and early thirties and the person that I felt I was back then seems to have disappeared into a shell - and that frightens me. I know things change when you grow up, you get married and you generally just 'settle down'. I confess I would be shattered now and my marriage would be all wrong, if I was carousing around town like I used to do and swanning off abroad at the drop of a hat for a long weekend with a best friend! I don't want all that again and I do love my comforts and my home-life, but I feel a little sad that my zest has waned and my spontaneity has been curtailed.
It's not just getting married and settling down though. It's financial constraints and the pressures of work as well.
I got myself out of debt in the last year or so after spending the whole of my adult life in debt, accrued by utterly stupid spending and good times. Sure I have some great memories and I am thankful for that but oh Lord if I knew back then what I know now! Anyway, I am trying my hardest not to fall back into debt again, but the cost of living just goes up and up and up and my salary....well, that definitely doesn't follow suit. And I know most of you out there are in the same boat!
I worry that there will be no money for future good times. Am I just existing now to pay a mortgage and keep food in our bellies and the lights on at home? Is that it? It can't be!
My job is stressful and I generally can't bear it most of the time. It isn't what I'd hoped it would be - but I have stuck with it because I need it to look good on my CV (which is pretty long due to my flighty younger self) and as we all know, it's hardly a job seekers market out there at the moment. I've been in the job a year now so I guess that's not too bad on the CV?
The job drains me, it saps my morale and it crushes my spirit. I am looking for other jobs now I've been there a year, so fingers crossed on that. I am not asking for a lot....I just want to go to work every day and put in a hard working shift and feel even vaguely happy or content that I am there. I don't want to feel stressed, have palpitations or want to scream "F**k off!!" at every inconsiderate muppet that expects me to drop the 101 other priorities I have on the go, just because they've failed to plan their own working week out correctly. Sound familiar to anyone else? What *is* it with people sometimes?
The thought of just feeling 'alright' about my job is a delicious thought. I'm not after a massive salary or career ladder climbing prospects. I just want to feel....alright. That'd be a good start. Oh and to get my Sundays back instead of disappearing into a well of despair come 4pm...that'd be excellent!
So that's an overview. Further thoughts, ideas, plans, stuff I've 'done' to save money, things I have done to cheer me up and feel like I am living a little will follow. I hope it will be cathartic for me and entertaining for you!
Thank you again for having a read. I hope you have a happy day.
x
