Last Night a Spreadsheet Saved My Life...

If you're of a certain age you *will* have replaced the word spreadsheet with "DJ", right?

OK so perhaps that is a bit dramatic but last night, a spreadsheet shocked me to the core, made me feel sick and very very stupid.  However after waking up this morning and having remembered what I saw last night, I still felt stupid and a bit sick but also grateful to have had a wake up call and change direction once and for all.

Now if you have read my blog for a while you will know that I have been pretty bad with money in the past.  I am no angel now but I am a hell of a lot better than I was.  But I can get tempted and am prone to relapses from time to time. 

I find life too dull if I am not seeing or experiencing things, learning something about a new place, socialising and generally being out there.  These don't have to be fancy high faluting things and I haven't been out of the country for three years now (and the last time was on honeymoon and in a free chalet owned by an in-law....they also paid for our Easy Jet flights to get there as a wedding present!) and there are no plans to go abroad any time soon either.

A day by the sea with a bag of chips will do me fine if I am with good company and can wander around seeing stuff, appreciating architecture, watching the world go by etc etc.  I am sure you know what I mean.

I do also have a bit of a penchant for clothes shopping.   Charity shops are fine by me, high street shops and the John Lewis sale, also fine but these days I am well aware that the former option is more suitable for my budget!  And it doesn't happen very often.  So I have come some way.  But up until last night, I still felt like I was missing out on something that I couldn't put my finger on.  A strange feeling.  And also, if I am completely honest, I have made so many bad choices with my money.

Last night - completely rock 'n' roll for a Saturday I know - I was setting up a new spreadsheet for incomings and outgoings, to see me into 2013 and indeed to the end of next year.  I like to be able to forecast and plan for annual bills of course.  So, whilst doing this I open up last year's spreadsheet to get an idea of some previous gas bills.  Then I decide to look at my general expenditure and how my overdraft compared then and now.  Then I got really curious and opened up spreadsheets going back to 2009 and that's when the nausea started.

My GOD.  The money I have wasted is unbelievable.  It's shocking and embarrassing.  In 2008 - 2010 I was working as an Account Manager for a software house and I earned good money, some months some seriously good money.  And still I was overdrawn through ridiculous purchasing choices.  Clothes I bought at full prices which I gave away not long after because they were "not quite right".....beauty treatments I have long since learned to administer myself.......make up I thought I needed but used hardly ever (now been binned or also given away) and also, grocery shopping in Sainsburys or Tesco when there was an Aldi within easy reach of my house but I thought it wasn't good enough or so I thought, which was utter crap because I'd never even been in there so how could I even think that?   

So although I have been shuffling along in a certain direction anyway (and it is the right direction I have to say) I now feel like I have had a complete kick up the arse. 

Absolutely no more spending on clothes for a very long time unless absolutely necessary.  I must use what I already have.  Clothes rediscovered, reinvented, repaired & re-dyed or whatever is needed, where possible.

Groceries shopped for as cheaply as possible and I will make food inventories every week to see what I can make with what I have.  No buying anything even if it is cheap unless I actually need it. 

Socialising....I will still spend money on socialising.  There's no way I won't.  But I am going to be as picky as hell and as frugal as possible.  My days of hard partying were over a long time ago so there's no danger of slipping back into that kind of spending again.  I'm not going to feel guilty about the odd drink out with a friend or lunch with my husband once a month in a pub.  When I have seen the amount I have wasted on other stuff, the minuscule budget I have for staying sane is peanuts.

Beauty treatments....I'll continue doing what I do and enjoy it.  Some women feel it's a life essential to have someone else file their nails or wax their bikini line and maybe I did once too, but not now.  There is something very satisfying about a home administered facial, making your feet soft & pretty and such like.

Happily I could start to take direct "action" today.  I found a top I bought back in 2008 (one that did make it past the first month of being purchased!) which I have had good wear out of.  I noticed there were several little holes appearing along the hem line...tiny little ones that you only see if you hold it up to the light.  I considered putting it in a charity bag but then got needle and thread out.  Luckily the top is a black & white pattern, quite random, so I was able to stitch up all the holes and no-one will notice.  I should get another year out of that top I am sure.

I also got a shortish wrap dress which I wear as a top from time to time with only a certain pair of trousers and used wonder web stuff to "take it up" a couple of inches.  Now it's suitable for wear with all my jeans and other trousers too.  I am so chuffed and asked myself why I didn't do this before?

To all the naturally frugal people out there, I know they may well be laughing at me or thinking what a simpleton I am.  But I'd just like to say, we're all good at different things.  And sometimes people's journeys start later or take longer with different twists & turns than others.  We're bombarded on an hourly basis of every day with obvious and subliminal images of what we should look like, what we should be wearing, where we should be spending our time when we're not at work even what we should be drinking and some people are more resistant to it or parts of it, than others.

I've taken a massive turn this weekend after seeing what is the equivalent of a huge lit up road sign and I feel happier.

Thanks for reading - and hopefully, not judging.

Lots of love.
xx